


if you're not, you should be

by jennycaakes



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Nursey's a famous author whoops, Oblivious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 20:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16002779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennycaakes/pseuds/jennycaakes
Summary: It's weird to listen to one of your best friends be interviewed on a pretty famous podcast, but seeing as Nursey's book series is now being made into a series of movies it makes sense.What doesn't make sense is when Nursey says his main couple is based off of Holster and Ransom's relationship. Seeing as Holster and Ransom are not dating.





	if you're not, you should be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MelikaElena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelikaElena/gifts).



> I LOVE THESE NERDS this was inspired by a tumblr post i saw abt mutual pining that mel sent to me and then i just had to write it so uh here we are! this is silly and light and i just love these boys. hope you like it!!

It’s not that Adam’s not happy for Nursey and his journey to stardome. He totally is. Nursey’s a killer author (both metaphorically and literally--he’s killed off a surprising number of characters in his _White Winds_ series) and deserves all of the fame and fortune that he’s getting in such a short amount of time.

It’s just that Adam doesn’t have time to be super invested in that journey for him. He’s got his own shit to do. Bills to pay. A job to work. He goes to Nursey’s book signings with the rest of their friends and is _way_ hype to have an invitation to the New York premiere of the first movie when it comes out but it’s not like he’s running a fan account.

Still, the books are awesome. There’s only four out of the projected six and Adam’s hooked. It’s an urban fantasy series and they’re diverse and while sometimes they’re bleak they’re also full of love and hope. They’re totally Nursey.

So when Bitty sends Adam a podcast about a month before the premiere where someone’s interviewing Nursey, he figures he can listen. It’s easier to listen to podcasts while standing than to watch all of those Buzzfeed videos, anyway, and commutes are basically designed for them.

“Let me know if it’s any good,” Ransom says when Adam leaves for work that morning.

They moved out of Shitty (and Lardo)’s place about a year ago when Ransom switched companies and they wanted to be closer to work. Now they’re in their own apartment and while it’s sad being from friends (and lame working for different companies) they’re doing okay.

“It’ll have Nursey’s silky smooth voice for an hour,” Adam tells him as he slides on his jacket. “It’ll be great.”

Adam slips into the hallway as Ransom starts to laugh.

He doesn’t actually get to the podcast until the evening commute, though.

It’s called _If You’re Not, You Should Be_ , and talks about popular trends that are actually worth the hype. There are three hosts and they’re pretty fun, and Adam’s listened to a couple of other episodes before, so it’s pretty neat that he’s going to actually know someone on it.

The episode is about half an hour so he starts it a few minutes in, knowing he’ll be finished once he hits his home stop. Despite his effort, Adam isn’t very good at podcasts. He’s more of a visual person, or a do-er. But Bitty seemed excited about the episode and Nursey deserves more hits, so he chugs along through it anyway.

He zones in and out until the end chunk.

“I know you must get this all the time,” one of the hosts, a woman named Penny says. “But your main couple is absolutely to _die_ for.”

“But hopefully no one’s dying for anyone any time soon,” another host, Li says.

Nursey laughs and it makes Adam smile. He’s super proud of his friends.

“They’re actually modeled after some of my favorite people,” Nursey says. “My friends--Adam and Justin. They’re best friends and they just really fucking love each other. You know?”

Adam pauses. He looks down at his phone and taps the << button to go back 10 seconds and listens to Nursey say it again.

 _Adam and Justin_.

Nursey’s main couple is modeled after him and Ransom?

“Their relationship is incredibly healthy,” Nursey carries on, “and that’s something I really wanted to embody. I mean so often these days we have couples who are toxic or go through hell for each other and--I mean they _have_ and they _would_ go through hell for one another. But the best parts about their love is how much they depend on one another, trust each other, care for each other.”

Adam feels his throat getting tight.

“And this is a real couple you know?” Li asks.

“Mm-hm. Sometimes me and my boyfriend are talking about how hashtag goals they are.” The hosts laugh. Adam glances around the train he’s on as though people know what he’s listening to, as though they can understand why his face is so red. “We were all on the same hockey team in college,” Nursey carries on. “They were actually co-captains, so it took all of us a while to figure out if they were together or not. No one really wanted to ask.”

Adam thinks of Nursey’s characters, of their strong friendship that only just recently morphed into a relationship in the latest book, and he can literally feel his heart in his throat.

Because they’re not together.

He and Ransom are not together.

He and Ransom are not dating. They are not in love.

What the fuck is going on?

“I’ve never met two people who trust each other so completely,” Nursey carries on. “I mean--this is starting to sound like a love letter to my friends’ love, but I’m serious. Holtz--sorry, Adam, fucking hockey nicknames--Adam and Justin balance each other out so well. When one’s freaking out, the other’s the only who can calm them down. They’re always a few steps ahead of each other, answering one another’s sentences, finishing their thoughts. They build each other up every single day, only want to see the other grow and be happy. God only knows how they did it, but damn they did it.”

Adam needs to get off this train before he has a stroke.

His phone buzzes in the middle of the next interview question and he lifts it to see some texts.

 **Ransom**  
swung by that mexican place on the corner and grabbed dinner for us  
(i know what u like)   
so don’t pick anything up kthx cu soon

They’re just best friends. The best of friends. Two people who completely understand one another and are there for one another no matter what.

And who live together. And sometimes fall asleep together on the couch, Ransom’s hands in Adam’s hair. Or crawl into bed together when it storms because it’s way too scary to sleep alone. And go grocery shopping together. And cook together.

Adam’s blushing so hard he feels like he needs to take his jacket off.

There’s nothing else in the episode about him and Ransom but on his walk home from the station he keeps rewinding it to re-listen.

Nursey’s completely right. His and Ransom’s relationship and built on mutual respect and understanding and love. Totally and completely.

And Adam’s always know that he loves Ransom. Of course he does. But this is different.

Before he makes it home, he calls Bitty.

“Holtzy!” Bitty greets. “Sorry it took me so long to answer,” he says. “I’ve elbow deep in jam. The Falcs are on another kick so there are jars absolutely all over here and I almost didn’t hear the phone. But hi!”

“Hey, Bits,” Adam says. “So I uh.” He’s outside his apartment building now and he looks up, seeing that their living room light is on. “So I listened to the podcast you sent.”

“I love _If You’re Not_ ,” Bitty gushes. “Isn’t it so exciting to hear Nursey on it?”

“It was,” Adam agrees. “But you… you listened to the whole thing?”

“Mm-hmm,” Bitty drawls. “Why?”

“Well he talked about me and Rans,” Adam says, shifting on his feet. He’s got a lot of nervous energy. He’s gonna have to go on a run, or something.

“Aw, I thought you’d love that,” Bitty says quietly.

“It’s--” is he really going to have to spell it out for him? “Bitty, me and Rans aren’t together,” he says. “You know that, right? Tell me you know that.”

Bitty falls quiet on the other end.

“Bits?” Adam pushes. “Ransom and I aren’t dating. Did you think we were?” Still, silence. “Nursey clearly does,” he huffs. “And apparently Dex too, if they think we’re fucking goals, or whatever, so does that mean everyone fucking thinks me and Ransom are _together_?”

“Oh gosh,” Bitty whispers. “Holtzy. Um.” Bitty’s starting to stammer. “It’s--we all…”

“You all?” Adam pries. “Who is we?”

“Oh no. Holster, we just thought--I mean, once you two moved out of Haus 2.0…”

Adam huffs. “You’ve been to our apartment! You know that we both have our own rooms!”

“Is the one with the plants not a guest room?” Bitty asks, voice still small.

“Oh my _fuck_.”

Bitty launches into the most epic apology that Adam’s ever heard in his life but he really doesn’t have the time to sit with it for now. He tells Bitty that he has to go, makes him swear not to say anything to anyone, and then takes the stairs two at a time to get to his apartment.

Ransom’s waiting for him, and the second Adam opens the door to find the table set with all their take-out boxes propped open, Ransom glances over to smile at him.

“Hey! You’re later than usual and you didn’t text me back, I was starting to worry.”

Whatever’s been buzzing around inside him since the train settles in a heartbeat.

“Hey,” Adam exhales. “Sorry. Called Bits and got distracted.”

“It’s cool.” Ransom goes back to setting up dinner. “I almost got you some cherry coke,” he says as Adam starts kicking off his shoes by the door. “But then I remembered we’re cutting out sugar--”

“ _You’re_ cutting out sugar,” Adam cuts him off. “That was a totally one-sided decision.”

“That we made after the doctor told you to cut out sugar,” Ransom carries on, the smile evident in his voice. “So I got us some lemonade instead.”

Adam pulls off his jacket. “Is mine pink?”

“Obviously. Who do you think I am, some fool?”

Adam’s heart stumbles and he exhales a laugh, finding himself smiling too. “You realize lemonade has like, hella sugar,” Adam wonders. “Right?”

“It’s because I’m never gonna actually make you cut out sugar, Holtzy,” Ransom says, dropping into his seat. “You’re not even 30. Your doctor is insane. But we should actually cut out _soda_ so this is my peace offering.”

Adam laughs again, totally overwhelmed.

Of course he loves Ransom.

He settles down at the table and listens to Ransom tell him all about his day while they dish out their meals (Adam’s exactly what he would’ve ordered for himself).

“Oh,” Ransom says as they’re finishing up, stomachs full and hearts content. “Did you listen to Nursey’s podcast thing?”

“I did,” Adam rushes. “Did you?”

“You were supposed to tell me if it was good,” Ransom jeers.

“It was something,” Adam murmurs. Ransom arches an eyebrow. “You should listen,” he decides. “And then we can talk about it.”

Ransom’s other eyebrow joins the first. “It’s a podcast that warrants discussion?” he asks.

“Nursey’s a smart dude,” is all Adam says because it’s all he can think to. There’s no way he could do this on his own. It wasn’t even a thing he realized he wanted to do until uhh, pretty recently. “That’s all.”

“I’ll try and get to it this week,” Ransom promises.

* * *

Justin listens to Nursey’s episode of _If You’re Not, You Should Be_ on a Monday morning, a week and a half after Holster does.

He almost doesn’t listen to it at all. He’s been working on med-school applications on his commute via the notes app in his phone and podcasts are distracting, so he’s usually got some instrumental playlist going in the back. But Holster got weird last night so Ransom makes it a priority. Besides, mornings are less productive than afternoons, especially Monday mornings, so it’s not a big deal.

They’d been watching some new Netflix show, Holster’s head on Justin’s lap, when Justin said, “Do you think Nursey would rather his stuff be made into a show?”

Holster hummed. “I dunno. I mean on one hand there’s more time, so you have more room to make it as authentic to the book as possible.”

“And on the other,” Justin added, “money.”

“Money,” Holster agreed. “And more people might see it movie-stylez. Besides, he said he’s pretty proud of what they’ve created. Or well, what he’s seen.”

“That’s right,” Justin agreed. He whistled then, long and slow. “I can’t believe we’re going to a legitimate movie premiere.”

That’s when Holster tensed. “Yeah…”

Justin brushed his fingers back, tugging Holster’s head until he was looking up at him. “Why’d you say it like that?”

“I… dunno.”

Justin’s eyes narrowed. “Holtzy.”

“I’m feeling weird about going,” he said in a rush. Justin pulled back and Holster moved, slowly sitting up. He reached up and brushed his hands through his hair, straightening out the mess he’d made. “I mean I'm going to go,” Holster said, “but I don’t know.”

“What’s going on?”

Holster had fumbled through excuses about work and feeling a little run-down but had ended with one question. “Did you ever listen to that podcast?”

It took Justin a minute to remember what he was talking about. He admitted that he hadn’t, overwhelmed with work of his own and his applications, and Holster just nodded. For some reason, it felt important. So nice and early he pops his headphones in and clicks on Nursey’s episode of _If You’re Not_.

He has ten minutes left of his commute by the time the episode is over.

And then a full day of work.

Holster’s the only thing he can think about.

The way Holster’s whole chest turns pink when he blushes. The feeling of Holster's hands against his skin. His sleepy, early-morning laughter over their shared mug of coffee. How Justin’s chest pinches every time Holster smiles at him.

He almost misses the stop he’s supposed to get off on and then spills his glass of water on himself multiple times during the day all because he’s thinking about Holster.

To be fair, he hasn’t gotten to Nursey’s latest book. He’s read the first three but the fourth one only just came out last month and being an adult is hard. Reading for fun isn’t even really Ransom’s thing. He’d rather fall asleep to Netflix and Holtz than squint into the darkness trying to get through his book. And then when he does read, it’s on the commute, and again applications are taking up his time.

He heard that the two leads finally got together, which was rad, but to hear them compared to him and Holster is a shock that he can’t shake. There’s a scene in the second book of Nursey’s that’s practically right out of Justin’s senior year. The characters are comforting each other after a loss (in the books it was for a quest while in real life it was after a hockey game) but they wound themselves around one another and promised that they’d get it next time, that this didn’t make them failures, that at least they still had one another.

And Justin remembers thinking it then, but now he wonders if there are a lot of scenes like that.

He spends his afternoon paging through meta posts about Nursey’s _White Winds_ series which _cannot_ be healthy, but he sees pieces of himself and Holster almost everywhere he turns. Healthy communication. Looks that last a lot longer than they need to. Hands on hands and hands on shoulders and hands on backs. Accidental spooning.

Not only are Nursey’s characters _totally_ Justin and Holster, but Justin and Holster might actually be in love with each other.

He almost doesn’t get on the train to go home.

What’s he supposed to say when he sees Holster? How are you supposed to tell the most important person in your life that they’re the most important person in your life?

Justin gets on the train when he remembers that Holster’s already listened to the podcast, so he already has his own feelings about it, so that’s sort of helpful.

 **Holster**  
you mentioned chinese last night and i’ve been craving it since  
so i got our faves  
aka don’t get food

He thinks about how he knows Holster’s favorites too, how they always order for one another without any hesitation, and sprints home the second he’s off the train.

Holster’s not home yet, probably picking up food, and Justin kicks off his shoes so he can pace. He has to figure out what he’s going to say. Should he just mention that he listened to the podcast? Or that he wants Holster in his life for forever, in whatever capacity that’s going to be? Though the more the thinks about it, making out would be totally fucking awesome?

The door opens and Holster comes in, giant white take-out bags in his hands and a grin on his face. “I think they gave us like, triple the usual amount of fortune cookies,” Holster says in lieu of greeting.

“Holtzy are we in love?” Justin responds.

Holster’s arms droop a little as the smile evaporates from his face. “You listened to the podcast?”

“I listened to the podcast,” Justin answers. He hurries over to scoop one of the bags out of Holster’s arms so Holster can take off his outwear too. “Like, I’ve been thinking about it all day. I listened to it this morning.” Holster stays quiet as he toes off his shoes. “So like--are we in love?”

“We might be,” Holster says softly.

Justin moves, setting down his bag of take-out on the dining room table. When Holster doesn’t move fast enough Justin returns to him, taking the other bag.

“You sat on this for a week and a half?” Justin asks. “This is important, Holtzy!”

Holster throws his hands up. “Well I don’t know! It caught me way the fuck off guard!”

“Me too! You could’ve like--maybe warned me!”

Holster huffs out a laugh and the smile returns to his face, brighter than Justin has seen in a really long time. “So the maybe being in love is like--okay?”

After dropping the bag on the table Justin hurries back to him, grabbing Holster’s hands. “You’re my favorite person,” he says. “You always have been.”

“And you’re mine,” Holster rushes.

“I’ve always loved you,” Justin carries on as he twists their fingers together. “But we’re--we’ve been good. I love us.”

“I love us too,” Holster agrees, breathless.

“There’s never been any reason for me to think--”

“--no, I know,” Holster says. “Me neither. But then the more I thought about it--”

“--the more right it felt,” Justin finishes.

Holster laughs, tugging Justin toward him so he can lower his forehead to Justin’s. “Everyone else thinks we’re together,” Holster murmurs. “Like--that we have been.” Justin laughs wildly. This feeling inside of him is loose and bright. Like nothing’s impossible. “Can I kiss you?” Holster asks.

Justin presses himself up on his toes in answer, kissing Holster himself.

The only reason they remember that they’ve got food that needs to be eaten is because Holster’s stomach eventually growls, and soon they’re laughing into one another’s mouths. It’s all too sweet, already so familiar, that Justin can’t wait for a lifetime of more.

* * *

Adam’s never been to a movie premiere before, and despite Bitty’s very specific list of what to wear he still feels unsure when he looks at himself in the mirror. He knows that nobody cares he’ll be there. His family’s excited, but the fans of the _White Winds_ series have no idea who he is.

And that’s fine. He’s there to support Nursey, afterall. Him and Rans and the rest of their crew are traveling from all corners of the country. And yet he can’t stop looking at himself feeling like something is off.

“You ready?” Ransom calls. Adam turns and Ransom finds him there, standing and facing the mirror. “Yeah, babe, we both know you look hot. You don’t need to excessively admire yourself,” Ransom chirps.

Adam grins, turning back to face his reflection. Still. “Something’s not right,” he says.

Ransom’s face flickers with worry and he crosses the room, sliding his arm around Holster’s lower back and leaning into his side so they can look at themselves in the reflection together.

“Oh. That was it,” Adam says, lifting his own arm to Ransom’s back.

Ransom exhales a laugh. “Yeah?”

Adam turns, pressing a kiss to Ransom’s temple. “Yeah.”

They have a limo taking them to the theater from their hotel and everyone piles in. It’s good to see Jack and Bitty, even better to see Chowder and Farmer because they’re so fucking far away on the California coast. Nursey and Dex will join them later, but for now they’re in their own fancy car together.

Adam drapes his arm over Ransom’s shoulder and tugs him close. He watches as Bitty’s eyes dart in their direction before he looks away, smiling.

“Whatcha thinking about, Bits?” Adam calls across the car.

“Oh, nothing,” he says, leaning into Jack. “Just a phone call you and I had about a month ago.”

Shitty laughs from his own spot. “You mean the one that you immediately texted everyone about?” he asks. “Where Holtz didn’t know he and Rans were dating?”

“Rans didn’t know either,” Adam objects as Ransom buries his face into Adam’s shoulder with a groan. “So I cannot take sole blame for this. And also I told you not to say anything!”

“People had money on it,” Lardo says. “Bitty had debts to pay.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Jack offers.

“Yeah!” Chowder agrees. “Nursey immortalized your love story before you even knew it was a love story. That’s pretty ‘swawesome.”

Ransom pulls back from Adam’s shoulder with a smile beyond compare. “That is pretty ‘swawesome,” he murmurs, soft enough that only Adam can hear.

Adam leans in to kiss him, gently, just once, but the whole car erupts into whistles and hoots so he dips in to make it dirty. The cheering only grows louder and the two of them have to stop once Ransom can’t quit laughing into it.

Finally the car pulls to a stop. The sound of excited fans and cameras overwhelms all of them from the moment the door opens. Weirdly enough, it feels like Adam’s just getting ready for a game. Ransom laces their fingers together and squeezes once.

“Ready?”

“With you by my side?” Adam asks. “Always.”

* * *

On the red carpet, Nursey gives them the biggest hug of all.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr/twitter @wholesomeholsom!


End file.
